Deja Vu

Blood is boiling again with Chaos inside. Could not sleep all night long yesterday ,as many events from past came haunting my mind. I got up with some unusal feel as if night was over in just 1 hr after i slept. Could not sleep for long time. Tried reading unfaithful reading of partition and whodunnit stories from magazines. That actually increased chaos. After a while a thought just flashed in mind from no-where.. It was from 23rd Jan 1992, i went up to my brother's bedroom to wake him after he had too much drinks on his bachelor party night.. It was his wedding day.. He had to get up and get ready. He refused. He argued that he wanted to sleep and dint wanted to get married. I laughed and gave him familiar warning of coming down for breakfast in 5 mins. He must have taken usual 30 mins and lots of shouting. Finally he got up and saw his friends around already. All set for big day. We have some fantastic photos of that day , we all dressed up in special Jodhpuri style gharara which looked royal in all ways..

Than i remembered fatal day on 22nd Jan 2009. One day before his wedding aniversary approaching. But this time home was filled with sadness,breathlessness,cries,curse and lot more than grief.. I was there to witness horor again. Could not sleep whole night as i knew dark clouds were hovering just above neha bunglow. I was having tea in morning with drashti on dinning table. Our bedroom was just behind dinning area, where bhabhi was kept on ventilator. She was breathing her last moments. Suddenly nurse came calling me , asked me to hurry up and check. I knew what she meant. It was all over. Bhabhi was having her last hiccups. I came out in hurry shouting at drashti ( my bro's teenage daughter) to finish her tea asap and move out to other room. She was blank. I hurried and went up to bedroom of my brother after loooong time once again. He was probably sleeping exactly in same position , on his stomach.. I shouted at once... Get up Rakesh , something has happened. He knew what i meant. He got up fast and came down. That was it. My mom was sobbing and hysterical. Drashti could not understand but got clue that her mother was no longer alive. She cried...........................

Whole memory came haunting again and again. Why me? I have 2 more sisters. Why i had to wake up my brother both times? Whats written in my destiny?